Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
50% drunk capacity currently
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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