Having a random hookup so left but love u
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He felt like a one man threesome
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
you never un-have a 4some
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
