drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
