That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
