party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
