32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
