I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
