"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
