make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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