thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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