Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
