lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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