I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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