Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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