she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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