'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
