ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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