Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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