How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
