There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
