His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
