no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
