I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
