just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
