She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
