when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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