If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
