to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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