Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
