i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
