i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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