I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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