Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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