So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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