im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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