They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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