You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
A bitchslap is in order.
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