So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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