She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
