Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
