you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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