Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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