im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
