i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
