Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
