i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
