He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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