I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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