So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
How does one acquire holy water?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
