Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
It's Friday. Sex?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
