Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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